Take the Pepsi Challenge

You’ve heard the brouhaha. Now, put up or shut up. Look at the following set of lyrics and tell me which you like best. One is Steve Earle, from The Ballad of “John Walker’s Blues” and the second is Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, & Blue (The Angry American)”. Which is the better song and be honest?

    Just an American boy
    Raised on MTV
    And I’ve seen all them kids in the soda pop ads
    None of them look like me.
    So I started looking around
    For a light out of the dim.
    And the first thing I heard
    That made sense was the word
    Muhammad peace be upon him.

    Chorus: Ash hadu alla Ilaaha illallah, there is no God but God.

    If my daddy could see me now
    Chains around my feet
    He don’t understand sometimes a man
    Has got to fight for what he believes.
    And I believe God is great
    All praise to him
    And if I should die
    I’ll rise up in the sky
    Just like Jesus peace be upon him.

    Chorus: Ash-hadu alla ilaaha illallah, there is no God but God.

    We came to fight the jihad
    Our hearts were pure and strong.
    And when death filled the air
    We all offered up prayers
    Prepared for our martyrdom.
    But Allah has some other plan
    Some secret not revealed
    Now they’re dragging me back
    With my head in a sack
    To the land of the infidels.

    Chorus: Ash-hadu alla ilaaha illallah, there is no God but God.

Here’s a touch of Toby Keith:

    Now this nation that I love
    Is falling under attack
    A mighty sucker punch came flying in
    From somewhere in the back
    As soon as we could see clearly
    Through our big black eye
    Man we lit up your world
    Like the Fourth of July

    Chorus:
    Hey, Uncle Sam put your name
    At the top of his list
    And the Statue of Liberty
    Started shaking her fist
    And the eagle will fly
    And it’s going to be hell
    When you hear Mother Freedom
    Start ringing her bell
    And it will feel like the whole wide world
    Is raining down on you
    Brought to you courtesy
    Of the Red, White and Blue

    Oh, justice will be served
    And the battle will rage
    This big dog will fight
    When you rattle his cage
    You’ll be sorry that you messed
    With the U.S. of A.
    Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass
    That’s the American way

    CHORUS

    Of the Red, White and Blue
    Of my Red, White and Blue

Patriotism makes for shitty music. Just think about it. Lee Greenwood? Vomit.

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