Second day of work at the new job, I’m in the deli by myself reading an old issue of Time magazine during my lunch break. The meatball sub I ordered is brought out and I take a bite as I read about the “best gadgets of 2005” or some other such nonsense. As I bite down, a thick jet of hot spaghetti sauce spurts onto my lap and chest covering me with tomato gore. It was one of those laugh or cry situations, but being an old hand at embarrassing myself, I did my best to play it off. When the crowd thinned out I snuck out with my jacket in front of me and called the office and told them I’d be working from home for the rest of the afternoon since I wasn’t about to go back to the office looking like an extra from the set of Carrie.